Monday, January 27, 2014

my grandma

On January 2nd, 2014, my dear Grandma passed away. This lady was absolutely amazing. One of the best people I know, in fact. She was always so kind to everyone, never judgmental, so gentle and had a heart of pure gold.

I was lucky enough to live with her from when I was born until I was 12 years old. She was my buddy, my playmate, my homework helper, my transportation to wherever I needed to go. She was my card game buddy, my Christmas special partner, she is the one who got me to love peppermint ice cream, or peppermint anything, really. She encouraged me to do anything I put my mind to, and always cheered me on. She always told me how smart I was, how talented I was, and always believed I would do great things. She was never negative, she never put me down, and she was always on my side, no matter what.

Even after I moved out of my grandmas house, she continued to be a huge part of my life. Her and my grandpa would come out to any dance concert, cheerleading banquet, play, concert or just anything important that I had going on to support me and show their love. She was always the first to call if I was sick to ask me how I was feeling, and always sent out Birthday cards and Christmas cards. She was always so open to helping me when she could and I really don't know what I would have done with out her.

My grandma has been one of the best influences on me in my life and I seriously can't imagine not having her around anymore. I have missed her every single day since the day she left us. She was the world's best grandma and I can only hope to be half the person that she is. I love her, and I know Avarie did too. I just wish Avarie was old enough to know and remember how wonderful Grandma Ellen is and to know where the inspiration for Avarie's middle name came from.

I honestly just feel heartbroken that she is no longer down here with us. I feel lost, and very sad. My grandma was really like a mother to me for many years and a big part of my heart is missing, now that she's gone. I miss her. I wish she was here. I miss our long phone conversations. I miss our visits and our fun nights of card games. I am going to miss receiving a birthday card in the mail and even our chuck-a-rama dinners. I miss the happiness she brought to our family. I miss her always seeing the good in everyone. I'm going to miss her for the rest of my life but I am lucky to have so many wonderful memories with her. I'm grateful to know that she finally feels good. Half the time she told us she was fine, but I know she's been in pain for a long time.

Grandma, you've truly been one of the most special people ever to me. Thank you for being so incredible all the time. I can't wait until I get to hug you again!